Remember that time when a friend or co-worker said something really nasty to you? Sure you do. Your face got red, your fists clenched, and you spent the rest of the day in a hidden (or unhidden) rage. Boy, oh boy. On that car ride home, you knew just what to say. You were ripe with witty insults that would’ve sent that scoundrel spinning. However, it was too little too late.

There’s something very, very dangerous about not confronting a bully head-on. They’ll do it again, and again. And you’ll take it—again, and again. This is bad. Very bad. Because when the day finally arrives that you spit something back, it might come across as crazed or irrational. Although that bully was just poking at you today, the series of prior pokes and jabs left you with a big ol’ bruise, and that’s why your lid is popping over. All of a sudden, innocent you are in the wrong and Mr. or Ms. Bully has come out on top.

This is the precise moment we’re going to try to avoid here. In the moment when it’s time to stand up for yourself, I hope just one of these loving reminders will flash into your mind. Keep on reading!